Recently, one of my guy friends went through a breakup that made me rethink the way men see relationships.
After he caught his now-ex cheating on him, she lied to police about him abusing her and tried to sell his belongings for cash. That wasn’t all, either. He later revealed that he paid the lion’s share of all the bills during the relationship—a tall order, since she had a gaggle of children to support.
Call me naïve, but I never really thought that women would actually be with guys for cash. It’s such a foreign concept to me, I only really believed it was a practice of women who were the lowest of the low. But, after seeing what my friend went through, I definitely realized why so many guys were terrified of dealing with girls who used them for cash.
That being said, I also couldn’t understand how so many men could fall for the gold digger trap. If you look out for these signs, you’ll quickly be able to figure out whether she likes you or if she’s using you for cash.
The topic of how much you make or what you do dominated the conversation during your first couple of dates.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s totally normal to want to know what a person’s job is when you first start dating. However, if you notice that she’s trying to ballpark how much you make by asking a specific company or straight up talking salary, that’s a bad sign. It could be that she’s trying to figure out if your financial state is worth dealing with.
She straight up asks you to pay her bills or buy her expensive gifts, even though it’s clear she can afford it herself.
Does she treat you like a sugar daddy? Does she always turn to you to pay every little penny of her lifestyle, even though she has a job? If you feel like an ATM, it’s probably because she’s using you for cash.
You’re getting the feeling that you wouldn’t keep her attention if you didn’t have the money you have.
Though there are girls out there who really, truly don’t care about looks, most do. The same can be said about personality. If your typical dating history is pretty awful and she’s way out of your league, it could be because she’s trying to use you. This isn’t always the case, but it definitely can be a good indicator if you notice other signs on this list.
If you ask her to go dutch on dates, she refuses or “forgets the wallet.”
Yeah, no. It’s 2019. Girls should be willing to pay their own weight during dates, especially if it’s a date that’s above your price range that she insisted upon.
Every item she’s wearing is designer, and she looks like a walking Barbie doll.
I don’t like to drag a girl’s personal style into things, especially since it’s a form of self-expression. Unfortunately, I’d be lying if I didn’t point out the obvious.
A high number of designer clothes and a very “trophy wife” look tends to suggest that she’s all about the money. If she doesn’t have the money to buy the clothes she’s wearing, it’s very likely she’s a gold digger.
She gets upset when you lose something material.
Girls who use guys for cash tend to act like their boyfriend’s possessions are theirs. So, if you lose your car or an expensive art item and she flips out, it could be because she viewed it as something that’s potentially hers.
The idea of spending a nice night at home doesn’t fly with her, ever.
When someone loves you, it doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing as long as you’re together. When you’re dating because of money, what you do matters a lot more. If she won’t stay at home with you and insists on going on a Zagat-rated tour of your city, you’re dealing with a gold digger.
You often feel like you’re a white night dealing with a damsel in distress.
Girls who want money more than love really seem to love the “damsel in distress” card. It’s highly effective with guys who want to feel like a hero.
With these types of ladies, they always have a reason why you should fork over cash for them. Their student loans are due, they need a new bag for a job interview, the house has a thing that needs fixing…the list never ends. As long as you have money, they’ll find a reason to have their hands on it.
Trying to keep up with her lifestyle demands hurts your wallet, but you try to grin and bear it.
Girls who use guys for money will never stop wanting lavish lifestyle experiences and goods. It can make any man, even a Wall Street stockbroker, break into a sweat.
From what I saw, most guys will put up with it because they don’t want to admit it’s too much for them. I want to point something out here: you don’t have to put up with this.
There’s no sex happening, and if it there is a spark, it seems to be conditional.
Gold diggers tend to weaponize sex, or use it as a “carrot” to dangle in front of guys who they feel will pay their bills. At times, they may even say that you’ll get luck if you buy them that shiny new purse or bracelet.
Trust me when I say that women experience sexual attraction and want sex just as much as men do. When presented with a hottie, ladies want to get it on. A woman who likes you will be all over you. A girl who’s just with you for your bank account access will not be that way, and may even come up with excuses to avoid sex with you whenever possible.
When you first met, she sized up your clothes, car, and home.
To a point, everyone does this when they first date someone. After all, what you wear, drive, and where you live can tell a person volumes about your lifestyle and whether it’s compatible.
However, users, will really keep a close eye on your possessions—to the point that they may have even asked about the brands you bought. If they’re really gutsy, they may even ask to “borrow” goods!
She doesn’t want to meet your friends or loved ones.
Most users really don’t care about their victims, and their actions will reflect that. This is why most gold diggers don’t bother to meet their targets’ friends, family, and social support.
I would actually go so far as to say that many gold diggers will try to isolate victims from friends and family. After all, it’s way easier to manipulate someone into giving you money if no one around you will warn the target about you.
She won’t tell you where she is or what she’s doing.
Girls who are dating men for money often have someone else that they actually care about—or straight up live a double life. This makes them behave in a very dodgy, secretive way.
If you can’t seem to get them to be honest with you or tell you who they’re with, chances are you’re being used.
People warn you that she’s using you.
It’s extremely rare to have friends and family confront you about your dating choices. It’s not a comfortable topic to broach. If people actually go out of their way to warn you about her, then you probably should listen.
She’s said that she wants to be a trophy wife or have a sugar daddy in the past.
Hey, at least she’s honest with you here. If people show you who they are, believe them…and run far, far away.