In an emotionally charged time such as a divorce, it can become increasingly challenging to keep your wits about you throughout the process. From property division and negotiations for spousal support to custody battles and whatnot, there are easily many things to potentially decide poorly on.
Fortunately, Mend the Bond talks about as many things to do to navigate this marital dissolution smartly. We’ll discuss some of the most important ones today.
What To Never Do During a Divorce
Divorce tends to make you vulnerable to making mistakes that haunt you for the rest of your life. Ensure that doesn’t end up being your fate by doing the following:
1. Not Work With an Attorney
Call an attorney before signing or agreeing to anything. Doing so ensures you are thoroughly briefed on what a contract or agreement entails and won’t fall into a trap.
You’d also do well to partner with an experienced family law attorney in high-stake situations. A fresh lawyer may overlook specific details or situations due to their lack of actual experience on such matters.
A divorce that involves a huge amount of assets and vast property tends to become contentious. An attorney ensures that your interests are duly represented in these legal battles.
Even if a divorce were to turn out amicable, hiring an attorney should make the process a lot smoother. You won’t have to worry about navigating court system intricacies or dealing with the hassles of paperwork filing.
2. Hide Your Assets
You may feel that some assets belong to you and you only, so you have them hidden. But note that concealing these things from the other party could lead to some serious legal consequences. It’s best to always leave these matters in the open, where they can be negotiated over in court cordially.
3. Immediately Announce Your Divorce To the World
Whether you’re relieved it’s finally happening or itching to get it out there, letting everyone know you’re divorcing after it only became official might not be a good idea. You could be dragging your kids into a toxic conversation they’re not ready for and certainly don’t deserve in the least.
It’s normal to want to vent in such an emotionally charged situation but be discerning about who to disclose information to. If you wish to tell people because you need support, keep it to your trusted circle as much as possible.
4. Fail To Track Your Finances
Before you think about getting a divorce, make sure to set aside funds for possible expenses. Also, start having your legal records and financial documents photocopied to make the impending divorce proceedings smoother.
Here are some financial paperwork to prepare:
- Bank statements
- Investment statements
- Tax returns
- Insurance policies
- Property deeds
- Vehicle titles
Make sure to keep these copies in a secure location only you and your lawyer can access.
5. Use Your Kids as Puppets or Pawns
Needless to say, children should never be used as pawns to get your desired outcome. As the divorce becomes heated and emotions run high, you may intentionally end up doing what you swore never to do. The least you can do for your kids is always to heighten your awareness of these matters.
Keep yourself in check, and never use your children as tools for manipulation. These acts can have lasting mental and emotional effects on your kids, and being responsible for that could make you live the rest of your life in regret.
6. Ask Divorce Advice From Friends and Family
Unless the circumstances surrounding your divorce mirror a friend’s or family member’s, it’s not a good idea to ask them for advice concerning the matter. A loved one may think all divorces follow a similar pattern or spot consistencies between your divorce and theirs, but that shouldn’t be grounds to let their advice influence your decisions.
Each divorce has intricacies that set it apart from another, no matter how alike they may seem to an observer. There will always be something about the circumstances and facts surrounding other divorces that don’t apply to your own.
So, yes, accept the emotional support your loved ones are willing to give, but politely decline any professional advice they offer.
7. Jump Into a New Relationship
You could be asking for more complications if you start something new with someone during this turbulent period. Consider putting it on hold if you already have.
Even if you and your soon-to-be-ex are living separately, that doesn’t mean your current relationship won’t become an issue. You could already be going through a ton of emotional challenges as it is, so it may be best to stay single for the time being.
Always Remember Who You Are
Some have been known to abandon their moral compass in a divorce, but that isn’t a route you want to take. Always take the high road, even if it seems your ex doesn’t always do so. Don’t let this unfortunate ending change who you truly are and how your loved ones, especially your kids, see you.
Life goes on at the end of the day, and those who remain in your life deserve nothing less than “the you” they know and love.