Top 16 Things That Have No Business Being Pumpkin Flavored


    One of the most iconic and cliché things about fall time is pumpkin spice. You know fall is coming around when Starbucks releases their pumpkin flavored drinks. Pumpkin spice is great- you have pumpkin spice coffee, pumpkin spice pie, pumpkin spice cookies, pumpkin spice muffins, and pumpkin spice cheesecakes. All delicious, but you know what they all have in common? They’re all sweet. There’s a universal notion that all things sweet come out with a limited edition pumpkin spice flavored line as soon as fall rolls around. Anything that I couldn’t really eat for dessert have no place in the pumpkin spice world if you ask me.

    Of course, you always have those weird products that try to jump on the pumpkin spice bandwagon as soon as fall hits. Every brand wants to cash in on the season’s biggest trend. Realistically, they shouldn’t.

    These are the Top 16 things that have no business being pumpkin spice flavored!

    16. Pumpkin Spice Sausage

    Mmmm… pumpkin spice chicken sausage. Just like grandma used to make…


    15. Pumpkin Spice Popcorn

    I’m trying really hard to imagine what this would taste like but I just can’t. It’s probably a good thing that I’m not able to.


    14. Pumpkin Spice Gum

    I chew gum to get the smell of pumpkin spice coffee out of my mouth, not the other way around. This looks like a Willy Wonka experiment gone wrong.


    13. Pumpkin Spice Dog Treats

    I’m sure dogs everywhere want to be part of the fall festivities too, but is this really necessary?


    12. Pumpkin Spice Pasta

    Okay, what kind of sauce are you even supposed to serve with this???


    11. Pumpkin Spice Pasta Sauce

    I guess this answers my question above. Still completely gross nonetheless.


    10. Pumpkin Spice Costume

    This isn’t edible, but definitely worth mentioning. Girls can now show their inner pumpkin spice diva for Halloween. She’s the forgotten 6th Spice Girl! #sobasic


    9. Pumpkin Pie Vodka

    I guess the cliché pumpkin-spice-drinking girl has something to drink on her weekends? If she is of age of course…#drinkresponsibly


    8. Pumpkin Spice Soap

    Feeling dirty? That’s okay! Now you can smell like a potent spicy bakery everywhere you go!


    7. Pumpkin Spice Shampoo

    Can’t find the matching soap? Not a problem! Pumpkin Spice shampoo is here to help!


    6. Pumpkin Spice Almonds

    I don’t know about you, but when I reach for almonds, I’m looking for a toasted salty snack. So no, I will not be trying these.


    5. Pumpkin Spice Greek Yogurt

    Would John Stamos approve of this??


    4. Pumpkin Spice Pringles

    Would I eat them? Yes. Will they make me slightly nauseous? Probably.


    3. Pumpkin Spice Chipotle Burrito

    Okay, this one doesn’t actually exist, but I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if it did. Since the pumpkin frenzy is getting out of control, a pumpkin spice burrito might be in the near future. Is the world ready???


    2. Pumpkin Spice Hummus

    Yum, garbanzo bean and pumpkin purée- my favorite. Are you supposed to dip vegetables in this thing? Yeah, I’m going to pass.


    1. Pumpkin Spice Beef Jerky

    No words. I literally have no words. This might be the worst thing I’ve ever seen (apologies to those who actually enjoy this).


    • Tom La Vecchia

      Founder of New Theory & X Factor Media

      Founder and Publisher of New Theory Magazine and Podcast. Serial Entrepreneur who loves wine, cigars and anything that allows to people to connect and share experiences.

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