Things to Avoid During Divorce in Oregon: 8 Divorce Do’s and Don’ts

    “Divorce is not the end of the world. It’s worse to stay in an unhealthy marriage. That’s a worse example for the children.”

    Jerry Hall

    Don’t Hide or Lie About Assets

    The process of asset division is predicated on full and fair disclosure, which forms the bedrock of trust and integrity in legal proceedings. Engaging in deceit undermines this foundation and complicates what is already a challenging process. Besides the immediate legal repercussions, such actions can damage your credibility and standing in any related negotiations or court decisions. It’s also worth considering the long-term implications; being caught in a lie can affect child custody arrangements or spousal support determinations. Instead of taking such risks, invest in a skilled attorney who can ensure your assets are evaluated correctly and advocate for your rights effectively. Remember, transparency is key to securing a fair resolution and moving forward post-divorce with peace of mind. For more information, read more about how honesty impacts asset division and legal outcomes.

    Avoid Making Large Purchases or Financial Decisions

    To navigate this period wisely, creating and adhering to a budget that accounts for your current situation and future needs is advisable. Consulting with a financial advisor who understands divorce mistakes can provide valuable insights and help you make informed choices. This approach demonstrates financial prudence and shows the court your commitment to fair proceedings. Remember, the decisions you make now will have long-term consequences on your financial health post-divorce. Keeping expenditures minimal and avoiding any form of asset manipulation ensures you emerge from this process on solid ground, ready to rebuild your life with integrity.

    Do Not Involve Children in Conflict

    Leveraging children as messengers or spies in an attempt to gain information about the other parent is a strategy that backfires, damaging trust and relationships. Such tactics contribute to feelings of alienation and resentment among children towards both parents. It’s essential to communicate directly with your spouse or through legal representatives when necessary, keeping children insulated from adult conflicts. Establishing a cooperative co-parenting arrangement can significantly mitigate the impact of divorce on children, facilitating a smoother transition into their new family dynamic.

    One key aspect of what not to do during a divorce is to never make promises to children that you cannot keep just to win their favor or sympathy. Unrealistic assurances about living arrangements, visitations, or other aspects of their future lives can lead to disappointment and distrust when those promises are inevitably unfulfilled. Honesty, while maintaining age-appropriate discussions, fosters an environment of trust and stability for children navigating the changes divorce brings. Prioritizing their mental and emotional health by shielding them from adult conflicts sets a strong foundation for their adjustment and healing post-divorce.

    Stay Off Social Media Regarding Divorce Matters

    Engaging in online disputes or negative exchanges about your soon-to-be ex-spouse affects not only legal outcomes but also personal healing. Such actions can prolong emotional distress and hinder the ability to move forward positively post-divorce. Instead, seek supportive and confidential environments for expressing feelings and seeking advice, such as therapy sessions or support groups. These spaces offer constructive outlets for navigating emotional turmoil without the risk of public exposure or legal complications.

    Remember that information shared online has a lasting presence and can impact relationships long after the divorce is finalized. Consider the future implications of what you share: how it might affect your children, family dynamics, and even professional opportunities. Maintaining discretion and focusing on respectful communication safeguards not only your legal standing but also your personal integrity and future harmony. By steering clear of social media discussions regarding divorce matters, you protect yourself from unnecessary complications and contribute to a more amicable resolution process.

    Avoid Moving Out of the Family Home Prematurely

    Staying in the family home can offer a sense of stability and continuity for children during a tumultuous time. It allows them to remain in a familiar environment, keeping their routines as uninterrupted as possible. This consideration is paramount in demonstrating your commitment to their well-being, which courts take into account when determining custody and visitation rights.

    Financially, maintaining two separate households before finalizing divorce settlements can strain both parties’ resources, potentially leading to unnecessary hardship and conflict over financial support. It’s more practical to share the home while divorce proceedings are ongoing, ensuring that expenses are managed judiciously. This also provides a clearer picture of marital finances, facilitating a more equitable distribution of assets.

    It’s important to document any agreements made regarding living arrangements during this period. Whether it’s deciding who pays for what expenses or how household duties are divided, having these understandings in writing can prevent misunderstandings and accusations of non-compliance with informal agreements. Consulting with legal counsel throughout this process ensures that your rights are protected and decisions are made in your best interest and that of your family.

    Do Not Refuse to Communicate with Your Spouse

    Adopting a cooperative attitude does not mean compromising your interests or rights; rather, it’s about seeking a resolution that minimizes harm and promotes mutual respect. In cases where direct communication is too difficult or if there’s a history of abuse, utilizing legal representatives or professional mediators as intermediaries is a prudent approach. These professionals can ensure that all communications are focused on resolving issues pertinent to the divorce while maintaining a respectful tone. This approach not only aids in reaching a fair settlement but also lays the groundwork for post-divorce interactions, which is especially important in co-parenting scenarios. You contribute to a more positive and constructive divorce process by prioritizing effective communication.

    Avoid Introducing New Partners to Children Too Soon

    Understanding and respecting your child’s feelings and readiness is key when considering introducing them to a new partner. Engage in open and honest conversations with your children about their thoughts and feelings on meeting someone significant in your life. This approach not only validates their emotions but also provides you with insight into their state of mind regarding this change. Timing is essential; waiting until a stable, committed relationship has been established before making introductions can prevent unnecessary stress or heartache for both children and the new partner.

    It is equally important to communicate with your ex-spouse about the introduction of a new partner to your children. This gesture of respect can help manage potential conflicts and ensure that both parents are prepared to support their children through this transition. Coordinating efforts to raise well-adjusted children should remain a top priority for both parties involved.

    When the time comes for introductions, consider a neutral, informal setting that offers a comfortable environment for your children and the new partner to interact naturally. Observing how they relate to each other in such settings can provide valuable insights into how the relationship might develop, allowing you to address any concerns early on. Patience and sensitivity during this period can foster healthier relationships within this newly forming family unit, ensuring a smoother integration for everyone involved.

    Do Not Ignore Court Orders or Legal Advice

    Equally, sidelining professional legal advice can derail your case, as your attorney understands the nuances of the law and how they apply to your unique situation. The guidance offered by your legal team is tailored to protect your interests and facilitate the best possible outcome. Ignoring this expertise in favor of personal judgment or advice from unqualified sources is a common pitfall. Remember, the objective is to navigate through this process with as much grace and efficiency as possible, laying a solid foundation for your future post-divorce life. Trusting in and following the advice of your legal counsel is essential in achieving this goal.


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