I recently found myself involved in what is definitely considered a very rare occurrence, at least in my life. I was a participant in a surprisingly intriguing conversation with someone of the opposite sex. GASP! I know.
I was doing what I normally do – being myself with very minimal effort to come across as even slightly appealing – but, sure enough, after only 20 minutes of conversation, he declares that we were going to get along perfectly.
Wait, what did I even say to make you interested in being my friend?
I couldn’t figure it out – but whatever, he thought I was dope, so did it really matter? Not really. But, I always need answers. I took to one of my guy friends to get his perspective on the subject. What he had to say made total sense.
Here is why men appreciate those of us that fall into the often misunderstood category of being one of the guys:
1. We are shamelessly blunt.
If we are thinking it, we say it – as long as the timing is appropriate – (our judgment is on point; we know there’s a time and place for everything). Whether it’s funny, brutally honest, or an emotion-filled opinion… we do not hold back. This shows that we are extremely honest. We are not afraid to be judged for how we feel and consider confidence in standing by what we believe in to come naturally.
2. We see the value in genuine conversation.
We’re not trying to impress you with some bullsh*t that we think you want to hear. We actually have important things to discuss and care about what you have to say also. We make it easy and comfortable to hold a good convo.
3. We are not trying to be anything we actually are not.
The greatest thing I have ever said to a guy actually took place recently. He was voluntarily sharing with me some information about himself. When it was ‘my turn’ I simply said this: “I laugh at myself more than anyone else I know. I hate when people ask for my advice and don’t take it,” and my favorite line, (his too), “I probably look better on social media.” While in fact, that was just me being me, (and pretty much honest). He f#%king loved it.
4. We aren’t Silly-Putty.
We don’t pretend to like what you like, to know what you know, or stray away from things we enjoy just because they’re not your thing. Those types of girls are dreadful. We stay true to ourselves because we know the importance of living up to our own high standards and being comfortable with who we are.
5. We are not afraid to tell you when you are wrong.
I’ve had several guy friends tell me that one of my best qualities is that I am not afraid to hurt someone’s feelings if it going to ultimately help them. Sometimes it just has to be that way. Sidenote: In regards to telling people when they are wrong, I will also never back down from a debate about sports, media or any form of a relevant trending topic. Bring it on!
6. We give the best advice.
It’s like asking one of you boys a question but getting the unbiased, female side of things. Chances are, we have been through whatever you’re going through, just on the other side. This means we can give you the perspective you need to tap into the female brain without making a mistake that could cost you. We also are the best at keeping your secrets – we know our female friends wouldn’t get it anyways. We just have a different mentality than the average female. We just get you.
7. Our personality alone makes us really attractive.
For us, all the background noise and nonsense is just not what we are about. Material things do not matter to us. We are always up for some friendly competition. We chose the burger over the salad – and believe me, we do not expect you to pay. When it comes to our flaws, we pridefully embrace them. Hanging out with no drama is how we operate. You will never find yourself questioning our character. Loyalty over everything.
8. We are full of surprises.
Sure, a majority of the time my guy friends see me with no makeup and my hair tied in a messy bun, perhaps even a bit disheveled from the daily chaos we call life. But, I will never let you forget that your home girl can show up… and I mean, really show up. Every now and then we let our alter ego come out. We do a little extra to put ourselves together showing that although we don’t need to flaunt it constantly for validation, we still got it.
9. We have completely de-mythed the phrase “a man’s world”.
There is not doubt that we can hang with the guys. But, honestly, if it were ever actually a man’s world, then our rare breed has taken that concept and thrown it right out the window. We are constantly pushing limits and boundaries. We work hard. Really hard. We motivate you to be better and step up your game. We are not just living. We are dominating in life, and with a purpose. Because of who we are, you are proud to watch us flourish.
10. We make you look good.
As your best friend, we big you up. We look out for you; we constantly have your back, and we do not let anyone get close if they are not going to come correct. Your girlfriends trust us, and your mothers wish you would just marry someone one like us. Having a best friend who is ‘one of the guys’ shows that you know what you are doing in life – and even when you don’t, at least you have chosen to keep someone like us around to help you navigate through it a little better.
So yeah, maybe my love life and sex life are both hidden behind cobwebs – but, contrary to the common stereotypes against females with a majority of male friends, I am not trying to get it in.
My only priorities are good energy, good company, and good memories. This is who I am. I am an alpha female. I am not perfect. I laugh at my own jokes, often. I get mouthy when I’m in a mood. I find a little bit of evil pleasure in knowing I intimidate men with my superior knowledge of sports. Sometimes, it’s just gotta’ be that way. I am that girl day in and day out.
Being one of the guys is just who I have always been and will always be… and I wouldn’t have it any other way.