Being comfortable in your own skin can sometimes feel impossible especially for someone who is damaged.
When your new love decides to start sharing their deepest thoughts and past with you, you need to understand how difficult it is.
Not all girls will start off by telling you the truth about themselves. It’s not because they want to start off the relationship lying, it’s because you see them in this flawless light and they want you to always see them this way. It may take some time for her to let you in, but you need to remember this when she does:
She’s Not Doing It For Attention
She didn’t start off your first date explaining to you have much of a royal f*cking mess her life is. She didn’t tell you a sob story to make you feel bad for her and she’s certainly not doing it for the attention. Most of the time, she would rather just explain something to you and then move on, forever forgetting the conversation ever took place. She’s not a drama queen, she’s not crazy. She just has some scars that may not be visible.
She Doesn’t Want Your Sympathy
Save the apologies, she just wants you to understand why she is the way she is. There’s no need to say you’re sorry for something you didn’t do. She knows it’s not your fault, but if it sometimes feels as if she’s being little distant, this is why. If you can relate in some way shape or form, then that’s fine. If not, that’s even better. Understand that she’s just explaining herself to you. Nothing more.
You Will Shatter Her If You Throw Her Past In Her Face
If you want to add to the damage that is already done, this is how you do it. She’s baring her soul to you. She’s standing there in all her shame and hurt trying to explain to you why she’s f*cked up in her own beautiful way. Don’t you dare throw it in her face that she was honest with you. If she tells you about her sh*tty home life growing up, don’t tear her down by saying disgraceful things about her family because you’re angry with her. If she opens up about being in an abusive relationship, don’t ever belittle it or threaten her with saying you’ll leave her and that’s all she’ll be left with. She knows you’re better than she’s ever had, you don’t have to boost your own ego by telling her she’ll never get better. That’s cruel and your words will become another lashing on her scarred body.
Don’t Get Mad When She Finally Opens Up
When you’re dealing with a damaged person, you must understand it’s going to take time for you to know everything. Don’t get mad and tell her she’s a liar or that your entire relationship has been a lie because you’re just finding all of this out now. She didn’t cheat on you, she didn’t hurt you. Someone hurt her, or maybe she even hurt herself. Regardless, she’s telling you now because she finally feels like it’s the right time. Hopefully at this point you’ll love her no matter what her past entails and you’ll keep bringing her to surface instead of letting her drown in her sorrows.
She didn’t choose to be damaged and she’d do anything not to be. You have to make due with the life that you are given and that’s all she’s been trying to do. She looks at you as her new chance. The person that can restore her faith and understand that she’s a beautiful disaster who can finally let go of her secrets and breathe.
Love her. Unconditionally. She doesn’t let just anyone in.