I was ok when you wanted to grow your locks out and use all of my expensive hair products. Then I was ok with you using my headbands to keep your hair back and out of your eyes. But now you have gone too far…did my eyes just deceive me? Did I just see a Clip On Man Bun? Yes, I did and my stomach just did a flip. You heard correctly – all those male hipsters you see walking the streets with a top bun could very well be shams. Posers. Bun-Posters. They must be stopped! David Beckham just kicked himself in the shin and Harry Styles just shaved his head. Their famous and oh-so-sexy “up-dos” have now been defamed with a junky offering on Groupon. It is the new generation of the toupée and these artificial buns are selling like hot cakes eerrrr hot buns…you get the idea. I am curious who is investing in this rats-nest-sell-out-poser hair piece. Have we come to a place in this world where men need to be on trend that badly? Apparently so…according to Groupon – over 5000 have been sold in just a few short days.
Major Fail: Clip on Man Bun
Made from artificial hair, they are offered in black, brown and blonde to suit all beatnik-hopefuls (except for you salt and pepper folks). According to the Groupon ad, for just $9.99 (retail value $65), you too can make all of your hair dreams come true by just popping this hairpiece on the top of your head and securing it with bobby pins. Methinks you can use the hairpiece to catch the blood streaming from your nose after your homeboys hear about your most recent purchase and beat the crap out of you for being such a ginormous dick. What is next? Stick on pubic hair for those that are Brazilian lasered “down there” and want the option of a puffy 70’s mound again? Perhaps faux-braids that accessorize your asshole? I am personally offended.
The creators of the “clip on man bun” have a good sense of humor (and are laughing the whole way to the bank). The video boasts how you can “look like Jake Gyllenhaal”. The directions include witty bullets that include “Comb your hair back toward the crown of your head in a similar motion to lacquering a reclaimed-wood coffee table.” and “This attachable—and, equally important, detachable—man bun lets you blend in with your surroundings, putting it on when you smell fair-trade coffee or hear a banjo, and taking it off when someone utters the word bro.”
With the new Star Wars moving hitting theaters in December 2015, purchase 3 and give two to your girlfriend to wear as Princess Leia buns. Oh wait – scratch that. She broke up with you when you ordered one for yourself. Some closing thoughts – if you don’t have enough hair to create a bun – then you can’t wear a bun. End of story. As a woman – seeing that thing on the nightstand is enough to make me never want to sleep with a man ever again. #AbstinenceOverClipOnManBun
Chime in below…what are your thoughts on the clip on man bun?
#ManBun #ManBunFail *images courtesy of Groupon.com
Comments are closed.