It’s no secret; being free and single isn’t all it’s cracked up to be – even if you’re young and at liberty to play the field before thinking of settling down. Let’s face it, meeting someone you actually like is tough. There are only so many bars you can go to in the hope of meeting ‘the one’, only so many friends-of-friends you can meet, and only so many blind dates you can endure with the promise of ‘making a connection’ before you begin to resign yourself to a lifetime of living alone!
At least with online dating you’ve got a higher chance of actually having something in common with your date – assuming they’ve told the truth in their bio of course. But then you run the gauntlet of being ghosted, benched or bread crumbed; and are those stunning profile pics ever real anyway?
So, it’s completely understandable that you might feel the temptation to act a little clingy and desperate when you finally meet someone that you think could be your soul mate – or at least someone you can have fun with.
It’s Easy to Fall into the Trap of Acting Too “Thirsty”
Whether you’re the kind of person who pesters the new love of your life with texts morning, noon and night; the one who sends unsolicited naughty pics; or even the one who turns up on their doorstep looking more than a little bit stalker-ish. The only thing that’s going to happen if you behave like this is that they’ll block you and tell the world how ‘thirsty’ you are.
“You can be sure that meeting someone you actually connect with is going to be a whole lot harder after that,” dating and relationship writer Carmel Jones of The Big Fling tells New Theory Magazine, “there are tons of reasons why certain relationships might not work out, but if one of those reasons is you not knowing you’re being too thirsty when dating – then that’s definitely something you can change.
Read on to discover our top tips on getting something fun started, rather than turning them off with your raging thirst!
Not Had Your First Date Yet? Give the Texting a Rest
You know the story. You’ve met on a dating app, you think they’re pretty hot, but your first date is a week away and you’re finding it hard to dial your interest down.
If your first reaction is to get your phone out and send them a barrage of texts telling them how gorgeous they are, how perfectly matched you think you’ll be, and how you’re counting down the minutes until you meet in person – stop!
Yes, if you meet and it goes great, this kind of thing is perfect for when you’ve had a few dates and you’re getting along great. But if you haven’t even met each other in person yet, it’s only ever going to come across as desperate.
Same goes for sexting.
You’ll know when the time’s right to exchange some kinky messages, but if you’re not sure then the time most definitely isn’t right.
Don’t Stay Over on Your First Date
We know things happen and sometimes it just feels right, but if you really want to make it to date number 2 and beyond, then don’t get too physical on the first date.
Trying to get them to do anything they don’t want to do, be that unwanted hugs, shoulder rubs or something far more intimate on a first date (or any date for that matter), just isn’t cool.
Besides which, there’s something to be said about playing by the rules of the dating game. No, you don’t have to go all Victorian and take along a chaperone, but there’s nothing like an air of mystery to dial things up a notch when things do get physical.
Dinner and Drinks are Fine
While your natural instinct might be to want to sweep them off their feet, it’s probably best to rein it in a bit – at least for the first few dates.
Big gestures will go a long way once you really know someone, but dinner and drinks work just fine for a first date and doesn’t leave you looking like you’re desperately thirsty.
Besides which, if you go all out on planning the most amazing first date, how are you going to top it if you make it to the second?
It’s Okay to Say No
We’re not really into playing games (with comparing diaries at least), but it’s ok to let them know that you’re not available at their beck and call – as much as you’d really like that to be the case.
We’re not saying that you have to play hard to get, but one of the biggest thirsty things you can do is to always be available for them at the drop of a hat.
It might be counterintuitive – after all, wanting to be with someone whenever possible is flattering, right? But don’t forget that people are funny things and research has shown that always being available for someone will only make them wonder what’s wrong with you.
Instead of always saying ‘yes’ when they want to meet up at short notice, try suggesting an alternative date in a couple of days. It’s fine to let them know you’d love to see them but let them at least think you have some kind of social life besides them – even if those ‘other plans’ revolve around the latest box-set on Netflix.
Will I Know if I’m Being Too Thirsty?
Yes, you’ll know! While it’s hard to hide your enthusiasm sometimes, taking a step back to assess whether things might be a bit too much is definitely a good thing when you’re starting dating.
It might not be for life, but if you take it easy, chances are you’ll both end up having some fun for a while.