Although we ladies often resort to the standard assumption that all men, in fact, are the biggest liars, there is something to be said for the lies that most women naturally tell themselves in order to make excuses for the fellows in their lives.
Why, you ask? Because females want to believe their counterparts deceptions.
Whether little white baby fibs or large scale levels of dishonesty, a lie is a lie.
We’ve all been guilty. With the negative notions that come with the act of lying, sometimes we can forget, it’s simply for the best.
Men lie more to avoid confrontation and protect their gal’s feelings. But see, that’s another lie I just told to make myself feel better.
1. No, you don’t look fat.
Do not ask questions that we do not want truthful answers to, right? Wrong.
Besides the fact that most of the women who ask this annoying question do not have a pinch of excess .lbs to even spare, the occasional fishing compliments thing is bound to happen.
So unless your guy is kind of a douche who likes to put you down, this one is a no-brainer. Job well was done I hear you loud and clear.. I look good. Thanks, babe.
2. You are a fantastic cook!
“Who’s meatloaf do you like better mine or your mom’s?”
WARNING: Do not fall victim to this trick question.
Let’s face it, cooking is not everyone’s specialty, especially in the modern world with overloaded schedules and the luxury of delivery food at our fingertips (shout out to Seamless).
Either way, he will appreciate the attempt as much as you appreciate his lie.
3. I have no idea why she is texting me…
Really? Now this is where we start to have a problem.
Being a twenty-something-year-old woman I know how men love the game and leading us ladies on, so I’m not just going to assume this girl is as desperate as he claims.
If she is texting you, you must be texting her.
So let’s address this and move on. #aintnobodyhavetimeforthat
4. I’ve been so busy, I’m sorry I haven’t called you to check-in
This is more during the early stages of courting, but let me tell you something… This is code for “he’s just not that into you”.
If a guy wants to see you or talk to you, he will make time.
Dudes who disappear and reappear when it is convenient for them to display signs of non-commitment and lack of consideration.
Maybe he is exploring other options, or maybe you are just not very high on his priority list.
Regardless, on to the next one.
5. I just want to take it nice and slow.
OK, Usher.. *Insert eye roll*
If he wants to take things nice and easy, it is because he is unsure if he truly likes you.
This is his way of keeping you around with no real intention to give you a title. GET AWAY FROM THIS GUY.
He may still want some booty in the meantime before he thinks he can replace you with an upgrade.
Don’t give him the satisfaction- instead, take the opportunity to play the field yourself.
Without commitment or a ring, you do not owe anybody anything. Say that rhyme and get to steppin’.
6. I don’t watch porn. I find those girls too fake.
If you believe this one, I can’t help you. Period. I bet he also thinks you look better with no makeup, a pineapple bun, and stained sweatpants. Right.
7. You are one of the funniest girls I have ever met.
This one is so good, I choose to believe it’s accurate because well… I am really funny.
But, he probably doesn’t think I am as funny as I think I am.
8. I love hanging out with your friends and family!
This is a half-truth. I’m sure he loves your friends and family in moderation, but it can’t be fun or comfortable for him all of the time.
He is doing this for your benefit, if at all.
If he had a choice, he probably wouldn’t be tagging along during your girl talk sessions or bonding with your brother. Boys will be boys.
9. I would never lie to you.
LOL. A lie in itself. NEVER? Come on.
Since most people lie without even realizing it, it is more important to understand the reasoning and rationality behind the lies.
The good, the bad and everything in between, lies can be harmful and damaging to any relationship.
It’s often hypocritical, but lies need to benefit you in some way to ensure the intentions are well perceived.
If it benefits him and not you, you have a bigger problem on your hands- ya know, like a double life or something.
10. You are the only one I have eyes for.
Let there be LIES!!!!
Listen, men have wandering eyes, but guess what, so do women!
It is not a crime to look, just don’t act on it or touch!
Although another female may catch his attention at first glance physically, it doesn’t mean that is he is less interested or attracted to you.
He is going to look, but if you have a keeper, he will know he already has a prize.