While casual sex has become more socially acceptable in today’s modern world, it doesn’t mean it’s without risk and complications. There’s also the notion that it might not stay casual, but often this is only for one of the players. Generally, people get into these arrangements because neither wants any complexity in their life nor do they want to commit to a relationship – or, so they believe.
In reality both are vulnerable for developing feelings, for expectations to be lopsided in one direction or the other, and the potential for an awful ending to what should have been a nice friendship if the game were played right. But how do you play by the rules and what are they?
Defining Hooking Up Casually
‘Friends with benefits’ is an agreement between two consenting adults, not inclined or interested in progressing the arrangement into a long-term exclusive commitment, but rather merely engaging in healthy sexual activity on a strict-friend basis.
There are ‘dating’ sites designed around the concept. You can check out Dating Cop for reviews. Those who sign on are fully aware there will be nothing developing between themselves and the other person. They are simply looking for people to hook up with for one night, two nights, or however long they deem possible without the potential for feelings.
The connotations associated with arrangements like these are much more laid back today than it has been in decades past. No one has to feel as though they’re taking the ‘walk of shame’ because they slept over at a friend’s house anymore. Everyone can relate with more people being focused on school and careers with less time for longer-term dating cycles or even marriage. Being able to go out and have a good time with a close friend knowing that you’re only obligated to see each other when time allows is a good set up. There’s no fussing or fighting over being late for something or missing quality time together. It’s casual and comfortable.
What Are Some Rules to Play By?
You have to have some ground rules in any situation in order to stay safe, healthy, and so no one gets hurt. Once both people decide they want to participate in this type of arrangement, it’s important to sit down and agree to some stipulations. Some might include the following:
- Safety Is A Must: Talking about STDs is uncomfortable for most people and even if you do get around to it, trust may be an issue in the beginning. It is essential that the guy have condoms on his person. No condoms, no sex – end of story. There should be no further discussion about ways that he’ll make sure you’ll be okay.
Even people in committed relationships practice safe sex. You don’t really know each other. He should not only have a condom but several. Anything could happen from it tearing to it slipping off. Bring a batch. Read for guidelines surrounding relationships based on having sex casually.
- Don’t Be Shy About Lubrication: Sex needs to be enjoyable for everyone. Women can have varying degrees of vaginal lubrication based on a number of factors like medication, hormones, especially stress. Make sure one or both of you have some or offer lubed condoms.
You’re having an adult, intimate encounter. It isn’t the time to become shy about a common product people use.
- Ensure Consent Is Given: Gentlemen need to watch for verbal and physical signs that there is ‘enthusiastic consent’ being given. The partner needs to act and look like they are fully engaged in the activity. In today’s times when someone says yes, it needs to be clarified on multiple levels. Even though it is a casual type of arrangement, respect is expected and should be given without fail. This is one of the most important rules with casual dating.
If you find that you’re starting to develop feelings, it’s crucial to stop what you’re involved in, sit the other person down, and have an open honest conversation about where you are. It can go a couple ways, but to continue on the path you’re on will only end badly if the other person has none of the same feelings. It’s not fair to them and you’re not being fair to yourself.