7 of the Most Ridiculous Inventions that Shouldn’t Exist

    There is some stupid sh*t in this world.

    You know damn well you’ve seen a commercial and yelled at the television, “Are you f*cking kidding me? Who invented that?”

    We all have…

    Maybe it’s thinking outside the box. Maybe it’s rich people who have nothing better to do than invest money into worthless objects.

    Maybe these idiots really think the have good ideas…

    Regardless, these inventions leave us baffled, bewildered and asking ourselves, “why the f*ck didn’t I think of that?”

    1. Fundies

    How do you feel about wearing someone else’s underpants? Well, would it change your mind if they could wear them with you? FUNDIES are underpants that are sexy, for two!

    That’s right! When you and your lover jump into these two for one under-roos, it will set the mood for hours….

    If you need to get your fundies now but they’re sold out, never fear! You can just go to your nearest Wal-mart, grab a pair of XXXL underpants and you’re in business!


    2. Bread Gloves

    If the basic sandwich doesn’t fill you up, don’t worry! You can now eat your own fingers easier than every before!

    That’s right!! Bread Gloves!

    You literally just make a sandwich in your hand and eat it! Dishes? Who needs them!  Napkins? What’s the point?!

    With Bread Gloves, you too can look like an uncivilized cannibal!


    *The nationality of the inventor is unknown.

    3. Pajama Jeans

    Are you lazy as F*CK? Is putting pants on in the morning too much of a struggle? Do you wish you could start your day off without showering and just walk out the front door?

    WELL. Your prayers have been answer!

    Pajama Jeans are the newest way to show the world you really don’t give a sh*t about what you look like! Your mother will totally understand why you showed up to Thanksgiving Dinner looking like a wrinkled hobo, once she hears you’re wearing Pajama Jeans!

    Dignity? Who needs it?! When you could have Pajama Jeans…


    4. WoofWasher

    Do you have no control of your animal? Is getting your dog to sit still for more than 5 seconds nearly impossible?

    Then you need the WoofWasher! This trusty, really not complicated at all, dog cleaning attachment for your hose is everything you’ve been waiting for when it comes to pet washing.

    Your dog will absolutely stay perfectly still for you to get this weird plastic contraption around them! This dog washer will wash your dog in under one minute!

    -As long as you can catch him first!


    5. The Pootrap 

    Are you tired of cleaning up dog sh*t on your walks? Did you miss the warning that comes with the purchase of a dog that says you’re responsible for them not taking a dump whenever and wherever?

    What if I told you, you never have to clean up dog sh*t off the ground again? Here is the Pootrap!!!!!

    The Pootrap attaches to your dog so that they can sh*t wherever they want and it goes right into the bag attached to their ass! So what if your dog runs around and the sh*t in the bag gets all over them! Cleaning a dog’s assh*le isn’t nearly as bad as cleaning their business up off the street, right?

    And if you need help cleaning your disgusting, sh*t covered dog, don’t forget about the Woof Washer!


    6. Shake Weight

    Are you a sexual deviant? Do you want to be severely inappropriate and make other people uncomfortable when, “working out”. Then you need, THE SHAKE WEIGHT!

    The Shake Weight will help you achieve absolutely nothing when it comes to building up muscle tone in your arms! It will, however, make your dreams of working in a massage parlor that much closer to becoming a reality!

    A couple minutes of SHAKE WEIGHT a day, and you’ll find yourself facing charges in no time!


    7. Booty Bop

    Has it been your dream to have an ass the size of a donkey? Have you joined a gym but know you’ll actually use it? Well don’t worry! We’re here to help you throw more money down the drain!


    The BOOTY BOP will make your boyfriend has trust issues for the rest of his life! He’ll never know your ass is totally fake and that you’re a vain piece of sh*t until you go to get it on and he pulls off your entire buttocks!

    We all desire swamp ass, and now you can have it too! With wearing Booty Bop!


    What a time to be alive. #blessed.


    • Tom La Vecchia

      Founder of New Theory & X Factor Media

      Founder and Publisher of New Theory Magazine and Podcast. Serial Entrepreneur who loves wine, cigars and anything that allows to people to connect and share experiences.

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