For anyone who’s ever participated out in a wild night out of drinking, you know all too well how rough the next morning can be. And, nope, we’re not just talking about having the hangover from hell.
Even worse than feeling like you nearly drank yourself to death, is the moment when your friends decide to tell you what actually went down the night before. You know what we’re talking about — that moment when you’re basically seizing from cringing so hard, because you’ve realized yet again, you were that girl.
You can’t believe it happened. You swore to everybody that this time things would be different. But BOOM, before you even noticed it, you were back in that tequila trance.
The alcohol hit and you became an animal. An animal who vows not to do these things before each night out, but is guilty of them every time.
Here are the 10 things you shouldn’t do when you’re drunk:
DANCE BATTLE
Sober you knows that you have two left feet, but drunk you is actually convinced that you’re the reigning champ of all 8 seasons of America’s Next Best Dance Crew. When the drinks are pouring, and the musics blasting, nothing and no one can stop you. You’re on a mission prove that you’re a better dancer than anyone in the club… even if it is the furthest thing from the truth.
DOCUMENT EVERYTHING
You’re having so much fun that you feel as if your life should be documented on reality TV, so you take matters into your own hands. You become the director, producer, cameraman and lead role of your own sh*t show that you share to Instagram, Snapchat, Periscope, and every other form of social media you can get your hands on, only to be left mortified when you’re forced to watch it back in the morning.
FALL IN LOVE WITH EVERYONE
Whether it’s your bestie, your ex boyfriend who you haven’t even seen in three years, a random hottie you just met, the girl with the nice hair on the bathroom line, or your uber driver, you love them all. They are your soul mates and you will stop at nothing to make sure they know it. Professing love is child’s play ‘cause you’re straight up screaming it from the rooftops.
TAKE MORE SHOTS
So what if you just threw up all over your shoes in the bathroom 3 minutes ago? That was then and this is now, so back to ordering more rounds of shots you go! #SendHelp
CONTACT ANYONE
All of a sudden you realize you have all of these people’s numbers in your phone and you instantly feel compelled to say just a teeny bit more than “hey, what’s up, hello.” You’re calling, you’re texting, you’re triple texting, you’re leaving voicemails, sliding in DMs, and sending way too many emojis because you need all of the attention and you need it now.
SMOKE CIGARETTES
You don’t normally smoke cigs, but drunk you just can’t seem to live with out one. You don’t want your own cigarette though, you just want to take a few pulls of someone else’s — preferably a complete stranger’s to be exact, because obviously that’s the most sanitary option.
DITCH YOUR SHOES
Your feet are killing you so you make the not-so-well thought out decision to cross the line from drunk mess to total ratchet. You kick off your shoes, and begin boppin’ around everywhere barefoot like it’s no ones business.
ORDER FOOD
You leave the club and scream how bad you need McDonald’s the whole way to McDonald’s. Once inside of McDonald’s, you try to order an extra, extra, extra large pizza — go big or go home, right? The McDonald’s employee informs you that they don’t make pizza and never did. You insist that McDonald’s pizza has always been your favorite. You cry, you scream, you order 3 Big Macs, some fries, and a few snack wraps. Then, you venture off to find that magical McDonald’s that sells the said pizza because obviously all of the other stuff was just an appetizer.
MAKE ANY DECISIONS WHATSOEVER
Before the night starts you tell your BFF “whatever you do, just make sure I don’t go home with anyone tonight, okay?!” The next morning you wake up and have no clue where you are, but know one thing — this definitely is not your bed. You check your phone and you have a text from your best friend — “you met Meg’s little brother last night and were convinced it was love at first sight. I tried to tell you he’s like 12 and had to use a fake ID to get in but you literally ran away from me with him so there was no stopping you. I just hope you don’t go to jail for this.”
FACE PLANT
You eat the sidewalk and for the first time all night a logical thought crosses your mind — “go home, a**hole, you’re drunk.”
Are you as guilty of committing these 10 stupid acts of drunkeness as we are?! Let us know in the comments!
(Images: Tumblr, Giphy)
