Dating profiles have become a new source for public ridicule. It’s bad enough singles are forced to go online instead of meeting Mr. Right or even Mr. Right Now organically. They are now subjected to picking out a potential suitor in a pool of extremely shallow waters. Beyonce had it all wrong…”to the left, to the left…” was not about a cheating ex after all. She must have just been swiping on Tinder after seeing the new breed of male and their carefully selected photos. I know you aren’t suppose to judge a book by his cover, but in this case, that is exactly what Tinder is all about. We break down the Top 6 Guys on Tinder and what their profile pics are trying to tell us…
#6 Ab Selfie Guy
Personally for me, this is an automatic next. First off, what’s your face look like? Exactly. Second, women are not impressed that you only eat brown rice and grilled chicken. This shows me that you are into yourself a little bit too much and you will probably expect me to think that I am lucky to be with you. Some women may fall for this if they haven’t maturely peaked yet. Try luring a lady with kindness and a positive message and you may get a right swipe one day from a potential wifey .
#5 Rock Climbing Guy
This guy is my favorite. I appreciate his false attempt to show us ladies how adventurous and manly he his. He is usually named Tom. Although he is outgoing, fearless, and looking for someone to break boundaries with, provided there is a photographer around to document the travel and thrills, he really does mean well in trying to show you a deeper look.
#4 Guy Hugging a Lion
I honestly am so confused. Why do so many guys have pictures with lions and tigers? Where are they finding this wildlife? In Jersey? My tinder distance setting is only set for 30 miles tops, Wtf! Anyway, this guy is a duel combo of masculinity and sensitivity. By showing us he isn’t afraid of anything and has the subtle touch to tame the wildest of beasts! He is the king of the jungle, or at least of dating apps.
#3 The Ostentatious D-bag
He might as well have his picture set to a meme of Dave Chappelle screaming, “I’m rich bitch!” I cannot help but think this guy is a terdburger for thinking I would be impressed with the fact that he invested his “hard earned” cash into something that immediately depreciates in value the moment you drive it off the lot. He may just be possible he appreciates beauty but it should not be presented upfront in this way. I’m guessing you have something you are looking to over compensate for… That’s just a glimpse at the inner works of a female brain.
#2 Guy in a Group Photo
Ummm, which one are you? 9 times out of 10, the ugliest Waldo in the bunch! This may be an exaggeration but there is nothing worse than when the only picture available to view happens to be the one time him and his bros got bottle service in Vegas.
#1 Bad-ass Guy with a Baby
This is absolutely hysterical. I’m sorry. Bad-ass guy with a baby is by far, the ultimate. He always has to specify that the baby isn’t his…it’s a niece or nephew. However, is brute charm and boyish good looks, make his message clear and irresistible to women. Guys with babies invoke the same reaction as when a guy is drawn to a women with big boobs. They make the most appealing accessories. This is almost as obviously as those people who use their dogs as an excuse to post selfies…
In classical mythology, Cupid is the god of desire, erotic love, attraction and affection. He is often portrayed as the son of the love goddess Venus, and is known in Latin also as Amor.
Creepy Cupid, a distant cousin if you will, is the god of this generation’s online dating nightmares!
As the dating world has drastically changed for singles, apps like Tinder, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish, leave everyone an open target for his arrow to call you out on your creepiness!
**Platform sharing crazy escapades of a new generation’s life online dating.Loaded w/ fun,content driven articles&submissions highlighting dating disasters!