Cheating can take place in any stage of a relationship.
Just when you think you are safe, think again.
I am not trying to sound like a cynic or Debbie Downer, nor am I trying to fill your head with false accusations that may lead to the demise of one’s relationship or even worse, if you have seen the movie “O”, you know how sour this can go. No, that is not my intent. However, we have all been there. Some cases we knew better, some blissfully ignorant, and some we found out early on and others chaos and hyjinks ensued.
I happened to be very lucky in my case. My ex-boyfriend cheated on me with the woman he eventually married. I actually look at this as a positive because at least I can justify that it was not done in vain. However, it did catch me completely off guard. Since that experience, almost a decade ago, I have remained cautious in relationships. Never showing my vulnerability until it was absolutely necessary is how I survive my love life. I date around. I keep things casual and wait for a knight and shining armor to prove his worthiness. -And believe it or not, I do not put any pressure or place extreme expectations on any potential suitor in order for me to establish that trust.
Nonetheless, I don’t ever think a person should be numb to the idea of their partner cheating, or think that their significant other could never possibly break their commitment. Ask anyone. Cheating may be defined on a very personal level as it comes in various forms.
Clinical psychologist, Dr. Bart Rossi, provides us with the standard red flags from any advanced manipulator.
1. A Change in Sexual Appetite
You know your spouse, better than anyone. If you notice a marked increase or decrease in sexual desire, this is something to pay attention to. Sorry Koko, that wasn’t a dig.
2. More Spontaneity
When we become comfortable in relationships, it is only natural that routine’s form. Any sort of break in this routine, with no explanation, is a cause for concern.
3. Vague Explanations
Not to be repetitive, but this is a biggie. Vague explanations about their daily routine and no details about their schedule, weekend plans, and/or even a potential, random spotting by a mutual friend, usually lead to unwelcomed revelation.
4. Excessive Time on Social Media, Emails, Texts, Phone Calls, Etc.
Even Bey needs to know who the Hell you are staying connected to…
5. A Physical Transformation
“What’s did you do to your hair?”
“Who the hell are you trying to impress?”
“Since when do you work out?”
Dr. Bart Rossi insights, “Cheating is as much about the challenge and the emotional as it is about sex. Men like the feeling of a conquest and the special attraction and the emotional and physical aspects that follow when meeting someone new and exciting. Women who cheat often are looking for more in life and may not have that “special” feeling with their husband or boyfriend. Some men and women almost feel the need to have much more in life than is possible and are not or will not be happy with one strong relationship. Their view of the opposite sex is either distorted or lacking in depth and their view of themselves may be egotistical.”
With the Help of Dr. Bart Rossi, we are on your trail.
About Dr. Bart Rossi
Doctor Bart Rossi is one of the nation’s preeminent psychologists. Dr. Rossi is regularly heard and seen on national radio and television networks, including MSNBC, CBS, and FOX5, local television MY9, PIX 11, and the cable news shows News12: Power and Politics; and the EMMY-winning NJ based cable show, The Fresh Outlook. Dr. Rossi has appeared in newspapers including the New York Daily News, U.S.A. Today, as well as magazines.
Dr. Rossi received his B.A. in psychology at Parson’s College, M.A., in clinical psychology at the University of Dayton, M.A. in General-Theoretical psychology at Fordham University, and his Ph.D. in General-Theoretical Psychology at Fordham University. He is a member of the American Psychological Association, New Jersey Psychological Association, and the New Jersey Association for the Advancement of Psychology.