Breaking up is hard enough, but being left with unanswered questions is tortuous.
When you part ways with your lover, you’re suppose to learn a lesson so that you can avoid making the same mistakes and protect yourself in the future. We don’t all get that chance though. Sometimes people just leave and we’re suppose to deal with the pain.
A part of the healing process is understanding where it all went wrong. Was it you? Was it them? Was it that your love just wasn’t meant to be?
These mysteries can lay dormant in someone’s mind forever, even if they have moved on and are happy.
We decided to ask Millennials the question, “If you could ask your ex anything, what would it be?”
Here’s what they said…
“Where did you hide my hoodies? All kidding aside though, why’d you leave me for him? What do you see in him that I haven’t shown you in over 4 years of being together? Was all of our talk of moving in together and creating a life to call our own bullsh*t? What about our promise to each other? The one where we promised to build an empire together; did you ever even mean anything you said? Did you even care to see how damaged I’ve become?
“What do you think made us drift apart? Could have there been anything to change how you felt towards the end of the relationship?
Billy P., 24
“If u know you’re no good for me, because you say you have serious commitment issues/emotional instability/have no idea what you’re doing with your life, why must you always try to come back?”
“Mostly just what happened? It was so unexpected and I never got an explanation . We were “in love” and you “couldn’t be without me”; and then I get broken up with through a text. What happened to the person I was dating ?
“How long did you prolong the inevitable before finally ending things? Do you ever regret your decision?”
“Just a simple, are you happy? I didn’t spend almost 10 years of my life with him to hold a grudge. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without him, so I just hope he’s as happy as I am.”
“Why were you such a bitch all the time?”
Billy L., 27
“Why, if you broke up with me, are you still getting mad when I am seeing someone else? Do you still dream of me?”
“After x amount of years, did my f*cking feelings ever come into play when you decide to date one of my friends that I introduced you too? Why was I left hanging on when I asked for a reason as to why you were doing this? How can you say I made you happy, but not happy enough to stay with me?”
“Probably what it was that made him realize he didn’t want to be with me anymore, and what he thought when we first started dating vs. how he felt when he wanted to end it.”
“Why couldn’t you give a reason for everything that happened?”
“I would ask if he could change anything that he did or did not do in our relationship … What would it be?”
“Why did he treat me like shit towards the end instead of just breaking it off with me?”
“Why did you have your best friend text me that you wanted to go back out, when you broke up with me a couple weeks later? I’d also like to tell her something. If two people have feelings for each other and are dating, they’ll find time to spend with each other no matter the circumstances.”
“If I could ask my ex anything! The list would probably go on for days considering the break up crushed me in a lot of ways. But let’s say I could ask only 3… My 3 questions would probably be… Did it hurt you at all to break my heart? Do you think of me ever even now? ( 1 year later)? Do you believe in the saying you lose them how you get them? … And I would ask that considering I lost her how I got her….”
“A while ago I may have said that I’d ask him a few questions. But I’ve come to realize that the answers don’t matter. They don’t change anything and they don’t change the experience we had together. Or what I experienced personally. I’ve learned just to be grateful for that time and know that I gave the best of myself. So I have no regrets and no reason to ask any questions.”
“Why couldn’t you just talk to me instead of reading a letter to me in the break up after two and a half happy years? Why did you kick me out that same day and pack up all my stuff for me and make me come back for it when you weren’t home? Why did you push me out of our group of mutual friends?
….Why did you do all of this? Why spurn me and not give me so much as a reason or an apology for the break up that was clearly so one-sided when you meant the entire world to me? Why won’t you tell me what caused this, and why didn’t you try to fix it with me? Did I even have a chance to fix whatever was wrong? Did you really love me at all?”
If you break someone’s heart, you owe them an Explanation.