Bold declaration, I know; but it’s the truth. Everywhere you turn there are people doing anything to get a date with a half way decent person, but they can’t. It’s not even like these people are crazy or sociopaths! They’re good-hearted, level headed people! So what’s the issue?
After many times of striking out in the dating game, people begin developing a complex and get into the mindset that they will never find anyone. That’s a little rash, but totally understandable. You’re a good, honest, hard working person who really only wants to be happy, so what on God’s green earth are you doing wrong?!
Your mistakes, although innocent, could be massive. The worst part? Don’t even realize they’re mistakes. You want to settle down and find a best friend, a lover, a soulmate, and you deserve that, but it’s time to evaluate your dating style.
If you’re committing one of the 6 Deadly Dating Sins, you could be destroying your own love life.
6 Deadly Dating Sins
Sin 1: Type Casting Your Life.
There are billions of people in this world, why are you limiting yourself? Lose the notion you only date blondes, men over 6 feet tall or people who are the same nationality as you. None of that matters if you end up marrying a jerk or a bitch. You could have it all and still not have it all.
Give others a chance, you never know who’s going to surprise you and be absolutely perfect! Imagine finding out you passed on Mr. or Miss Right because they were an inch too short. Now that would be tragic.
Sin 2: Stalking Before Dating.
Someone sets you up on a date or tells you they know someone you would hit it off with. Of course you’re going to be interested as to what this person looks like. No matter what, physical attraction is extremely important; but there is a difference between checking out your date and being a creep.
When you stalk someone before you meet them, you pass judgement. Maybe you’re not realizing it, but you’re assuming you know the person just because you saw their photos. Pictures are worth a 1,000 words, but meeting someone is worth so much more.
So what there’s a few pictures of them drunk on Facebook or the Gram. There are reasons behind everything and because people have become such psychopaths in the recent years, they automatically assume they deserve an explanation as to why they found what they found when they were stalking.
Your head hurts now, doesn’t it?
Drop the the stalking act and wait until you meet the person. It’s better that way.
Sin 3: Telling Too Much Too Soon.
Don’t disclose everything about you in your first few dates. There’s a reason getting to know each other is a process. Don’t have serious work conversations or talk about family issues before you start a relationship. Although it may seem as if you’re harmlessly telling your date about yourself, it’s too aggressive. Tell them you like blue or that Thai food is your favorite. We want them to be interested, not go home and write your biography.
Sin 4: Going in with Tunnel Vision.
If you walk into a date saying, “if he/she doesn’t want to settle down right away, I’m out.” Okay, so your goal is to settle down and have a family, hopefully within the next few years, but 1. don’t discuss that on a first date, and 2. Just because they don’t start off like that doesn’t mean they don’t want that.
Sometimes, when people haven’t met the right person, it’s hard for them to envision themselves buying the ring and the house. It’s not that don’t want it, it’s that they haven’t met the person that makes them want that yet. Love triggers the thought of forever, forever isn’t suppose to trigger the thought of love.
Sin 5: Turning Down Dates Because You’re ‘Not Ready’.
What are you not ready for? You’re not ready to meet the person you’re looking for? You’re not ready to give someone a chance because it may end bad? Not ready to move on with your life?
If we always waited until we were ready to do things, we’d never do anything. Not genuinely interested in the person? By all means, turn down the date; but if you think there is potential or you are curious, don’t say no! Put on your big boy pants and get out there. The date you’re causally passing up because you rather stay in and binge watch Friends, could be the very person you’ve been looking for and you turned them down to watch Ross get married for the 78th time.
Always the “binge-r”never the bride.
Sin 6: Comparing.
We’ve all dated that someone who has become our reference point for every relationship we’ve had since them. It’s completely normal and everyone is guilty of it, but it’s unhealthy. Regardless of why that past relationship ended, you have to remember this- it ended. That means something, somewhere and some time went wrong or changes resulting in you no longer being together. Comparing and contrasting the new to the old is keeping you stuck in purgatory.
Also- don’t compare your life to others. PEOPLE. The grass isn’t always greener! That’s not just an expression, it’s the damn truth. Sure, it’s okay to say to your best friends, “wow, you’re so lucky. I hope to have that one day”, but if your comparing every little thing their relationship consists of to you dating life, you’re never going to get anywhere.
Stop with the apples and oranges, and let whatever is meant to happen, happen.
Cut the crap, get it together and start enjoying your life. Make adjustments where needed and be more open minded! Your soul mate isn’t always who you think they’ll be!