Moving any relationship into the bedroom, no matter how long you’ve known your potential partner, is a big step. Whether in a committed relationship or just experimenting, there are things you will want to ask any potential partner before sleeping with them. In the age of the COVID-19 pandemic, there are even more health questions you will want to ask on top of the usual ones. Now, more than ever, it’s important to be safe with sexual partners. You’ll thank yourself for it and they might even thank you too. Here are a few things you and your next partner might want to talk about before dimming the lights.
1. What’s their COVID-19 status?
It might go without saying, but for many, it will be important to ask about your potential partner’s status when it comes to any recent COVID-19 test results, travel, quarantine, and exposures. The great news is that COVID-19 testing is now available in every state. To locate a test site, visit the official state website for your state and look for the health department. While most states now have tabs with all updated COVID-19 information, it shouldn’t be hard to find. Or, you could always call your health care provider who will point you in the right direction for a test.
While it doesn’t sound romantic, if you aren’t sure about your own or your partner’s COVID-19 status, talk to them about getting tested before hitting the sack. While the usual conversations like birth control, STD status, and whether or not you will use a condom will be important too, try to think about this unique conversation as a positive thing. In a sense, there is something romantic about telling a person you plan to share intimacy with that you care about not making them sick. The best way to show your feelings for a person is to do what you can to protect them. Getting tested is doing just that, isn’t it?
2. Do they have intimacy issues?
You never know who you are sleeping with if you haven’t known them for a long time. Even then, you may learn the hard way if you don’t ask ahead of time if they have any sort of trust or intimacy issues. It’s important to be clear ahead of time what each of you expect of the relationship before you take that next step. It would be good to know, for example, if you both expect this next step to mean a monogamous relationship going forward.
Have fun with this. You can even challenge yourself to a list of sex trivia questions or play quizzes and games online while you wait for the result of the virus tests. As silly as it sounds, reading articles together about how to last longer during sex and what gets you each aroused could act as a form of foreplay.
But on a more serious note, be sure to ask your potential partner about triggers, whether or not they enjoy rougher sex, and what their limits are. The last thing you want to do is accidently trigger your partner during intercourse.
3. What’s their sexual history?
For some, there’s a general curiosity about their potential partner’s sexual history. You might want to know if your partner is a virgin, has had multiple partners or to find out the answers to other questions related to their history. Be careful with this, as you might not like the answers you get in return. If you ask, be prepared for the answer but also keep an open mind as what happened in the past might not have anything to do with who a person is now.
4. What about sexual preferences?
A great game to play prior to sleeping with someone new is to do what you can before your first time to learn what your partner enjoys. Play a sex trivia game. Ask what their favorite position is, the types of sexual activities they most enjoy and more. Do they like a specific body part squeezed? Do they have fears or expectations about stamina? Do they do Kegel exercises regularly? What is their deepest fantasy? It’ll at least pass the time while you ride out any quarantine and move forward in your emotional bond.