I, like most of America, love shopping. No, I like really love shopping. I love it so much that I would consider myself an Amazon junkie. I keep my wish list well stocked, I am addicted to Prime, and I’m on the site reading reviews and shopping multiple times a day. You know things are bad when I shop at other stores, and then go home and search for the product I want on Amazon for the free 2-day shipping!
For me, it’s all about the reviews. It’s so satisfying avoiding a major purchase because the reviews are bad, and finding an even better product at a lower price just from other people’s recommendations… well, that to me is a major win! Online shopping is the ultimate shopping rush. And let’s face it, you can find anything on Amazon… literally, ANYTHING!
Spending that much time on the site, I have come across some pretty weird sh*t. It makes you wonder who is buying some of this stuff. When it comes to gag gifts, bachelor and bachelorette parties, secret santas, and superfan merchandise, Amazon is the Spencer’s or Hot Topic of the internet! Don’t ask me why or how I found this stuff, because I won’t tell. But, here are some of the weirdest things I have found recently for sale on Amazon – Happy Shopping!
- C-Shape Strapless Thong Underwear for Women: No woman likes a visible panty line, but this is some Angelina Jolie slit dress madness. The opportunity for a hip to be visible in such a way that requires adhesive strapless underwear is so rare! And seriously, wouldn’t you rather just go commando than risk this scrap of fabric falling out while you are dancing at a wedding reception?!
- 24 Karat Gold Rolling Papers: No judgement on recreational activities, but if you are smoking out of gold leaf paper, you either think you are living like Snoop Dogg or you actually are Snoop Dogg. Sidenote: he is Snoop Dogg again, not Snoop Lion or Snoop Zebra, right?
- Nude Women Golf Tees: I’m slightly offended and mesmerized at the same time…It makes for a good bachelor party weekend of golf!
- Donald Trump Toilet Paper: Yes, it’s toilet paper with Trump’s face printed on it! Put this in the guest bathroom and no one will have any doubts about your political views – unless, of course, wiping your rear with Trump’s face is something you’re into…Not that there’s anything wrong with that!
- Banjo and Goats in Trees Calendars: Hurry up…there are only 8 2016 Banjo calendars left in stock! The Goats in Trees, I get. It’s goats hanging out in trees – that’s awesome! Weird, but awesome!
- Doughnut Warming Coffee Cup: I secretly want this. The mug has a vented lid on it that not only keeps your doughnut warm and safe, but helps keep your coffee warm too! The only reason I’m not getting myself one is because I’ll be eating doughnuts every morning!
- Bear Paw Meat Claws: Okay, I need to explain this one because it sounds gruesome. The meat claws are for shredding pulled pork and other barbecued meats for sandwiches! It’s just so hilariously named and unnecessary! What’s wrong with a plain old fork?! It might take a little longer, but who’s got room in the overstuffed utensil drawer in the kitchen for a pair of meat claws? You have got to make a lot of pulled pork for these!
- Selfie Photo Album: If Kim Kardashian can have a coffee table book of Selfies, why can’t you?! This can either be a hilarious addition to your bookshelf, that’s sure to be a conversation starter, or the beginning of a narcissism intervention. Not sure if you can do interventions for narcissists, but maybe for a cell phone selfie addiction? Either way!
What’s the weirdest product you have ever seen or bought off of Amazon?