I don’t have children yet, but they are still the most important people in my life.
Every since I was a child myself, I have envisioned having a family of my own. The dream of the Pickett fence with my beautiful babies playing in the front yard. Holding them the first moment they breathe, hearing their cries and knowing that I will do anything to ease their pain.
I love my children so much that I would die for them, and they don’t even exist yet.
The world today is a scary place. Whether it’s worse now than before is a matter of opinion, but I do know that I will give my life trying to protect my children. I want them safe. I want them to never have to be hungry or long for a warm bed to sleep in. That is why I work. That is why I went to college. That is why each and everyday I try to better myself, because my children deserve the best parents in the world.
I don’t know the color of their skin, their full ethnicity, or their religion yet, but somehow none of that matters because they are still the most perfect beings in my world. I don’t care how much pain it will take to bring them here, I don’t care how much I have to give up to give them the life the deserve, I will do it.
This is the purest love I have ever felt. I love someone for who they are, and who they are is yet to be defined.
I love my children in unfathomable amounts. I dream of them all the time. I dream of the day I find out they are actually on their way. I only hope that when that day comes, I have everything I need for a proper welcoming, but even if I don’t it will still be perfect.
I will not let my children be parented by just anyone. This person must have as much love their heart as I do. This person must understand that our love will come second because our children will come first. They must willing to be just as much a part of their lives as I am. If they are not, then as much as I love them, they can no be the half to my child.
Every decision I make is based on the tiny little souls that have not been created yet. What I put into my body, where I go, who I go with. It’s all done with my children’s best interests in mind.
Maybe it all sounds a little crazy, I’m no where close to bringing a child into this world; but it doesn’t matter.
I wish everyone thought about their -yet to exist- children the way I do. Maybe if they did, the world would be a nicer place. Maybe if they did, the world would have less hate and racism. Maybe it would have less judgment and bigotry.
If everyone thought of their children first, maybe they would think twice before getting in a car drunk, filling their bodies with poison and drugs or even giving away their innocence to the cyber world.
I don’t ever want my children to be ashamed of me. I don’t ever want them to question if my past is filled with mistakes or bad history. I want them to always be proud of me, the way I will always be proud of them.
I could only imagine how much these emotions will grow the day they actually do exist. The day they look at me for the first time and realize how much I’ve missed them. How much I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire life.
No, I do not yet have children but I love them with every fiber of my being. I have loved them my entire life, and will do so until the end of time.