Something I’ve always admired about BuzzFeed is that they always go above and beyond to include, support, and represent ALL people…Sexual Orientation, Gender, Ethnicity, Culture, etc.
This gives all of us the opportunity to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Not only do they normalize the LGBTQ+ community, but they give us a voice and they speak out for us. Being part of this community myself, I thoroughly enjoy watching their videos because I see more people dealing with the same things I am.
On Tuesday, Buzzfeed Video posted a video called “Coming Out”. Of course, I had to watch it. I was absolutely blown away. This is the part of coming out that no one sees or wants to talk about. It is not easy for everyone to come out. It can take months or even years for someone to come out. In fact, some people go their whole lives without coming out.
The video shows Ashly Perez, a staff member at Buzzfeed, practicing saying “I’m gay” to herself over and over in front of the mirror and during her daily life. From my experience, the hardest part is coming out to yourself.The mental preparation it took to finally be honest with myself and others around me was very mentally straining, but worth it at the end. Once you’ve accepted it as part of you, coming out to other people can become much easier.
Saying it to the first person can be terrifying. Thoughts race through your head. “What will they think of me?” “Will they still like me?” “What if they don’t like me anymore?” “Maybe I shouldn’t do it.” “No, I have to do it.” In this video, she comes out to the first person, and he simply replies with, “Oh” and keeps coming on with his day. Reactions like this are what give us the courage to keep coming out and show the world who we really are.
They also hit on the other reactions you might receive when coming out:
The over-excited super supportive friends. These are the people you should keep around. They will build you up and support you and your decisions.
The friend that already knows when you tell them. How do you know? Am I really that much of a stereotype? This happened to me a few times. I guess I was nervous for no reason?
The ‘no response’ response. This one is tough. Some people just need some time to process. You do not need to justify anything, just give them some time, who knows? They may come around to the idea of it sooner or later.
The one who doesn’t actually believe you. “No you’re not, you’ve never even kissed a girl” Well, how do you know you’re straight if you’ve never kissed someone of the same sex? (Double standards?) This one is my personal favorite because obviously they know you better than you know you.
Then, the video shows her turns to online dating. Many people in the LGBTQ+ community turn to online dating as their way to meet people. I mean, how are you supposed to know if someone is interested in the same sex? We don’t walk around wearing shirts saying our sexual preferences. It can be challenging to meet people in person, so why not look through a variety of people who are definitely interested in the same sex on a dating app/website? She’s goes on a few dates that don’t go very well. Then she meets a girl and starts going out with her. It seems perfect at first, but then we realize it is a toxic relationship that she ultimately ends. I think this was to shed light on how queer people/relationships have the potential to struggle just like heterosexual people/relationships. It is so often that the media holds gay and lesbian couples up to a certain standard even though these are normal relationships.
Let’s not forget the heartwarming moment when her father opens the door with a rainbow tie on. He is showing his undying support for his daughter. After all, he just wants her to be happy. A moment this beautiful should be praised. (I’m not crying, you’re crying) Here’s to all of the loving and supportive parents who accept us for who we are.
Watch the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSYKo_Dlmys
While Buzzed did an excellent job in this video, there is one thing that irks me every single day. Why do LGBT+ people even have to come out?! When I came out to my friends, they told me, “Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself. We didn’t have to come out as straight, did we?”
That shows just how silly coming out actually is. “Hey just so you know, I’m a girl and I want to date girls…you okay with that? Just wanted to let you know in case you see me walking around with my girlfriend and are shocked. Because it’s a really big deal. And it affects your life. So you can choose to accept me or not but I just had to come out to you so you didn’t assume that I was straight.” Sounds ridiculous. Hopefully one day, we will live in a society where people do not have to come out.
Everyone has a different experience when coming out. The LGBTQ+ community comes together to support those who are not supported and to make sure each and every person knows that they are loved…queer or not.
Thanks, Buzzfeed, for inspiring us every day.