As a kid, I was always the crier. And, growing up, not much has changed.
For as long as I can remember, everyone around me has always described me as “sensitive,” which would be fine… except for its negative connotation.
Anytime I’d get into an argument with a friend, they’d tell me “you’re being too sensitive” and just like that, my views lost their validity; because apparently if you’ve got feelings, you don’t know what the f*ck you’re talking about. And then, there was my dad, who always told me that I needed to “toughen up,” not realizing how much those words really took a toll on me.
The thing was, people close to me were constantly picking apart my sensitivity, making me feel like it was a flaw, and something I needed to fix.
So, after feeling shamed for it, I spent a lot of time not saying the things I wanted to in fear that if I did express them, they would just be written off as me being overly caught up in my emotions. So, what did I do? I kept things in. I pretended that nothing bothered me. Worst of all, I let everything eat away at me.
Inside, I was still the same sensitive person, but on the outside, I felt forced to put on this strong front. And let me tell you something about putting up a front — there is nothing strong about it.
The truth is, my sensitivity was just mistaken for a sign of weakness, because in reality, it’s actually one of my greatest strengths.
It’s who I am
Although some may never understand it, I’m never apologizing for it. This is how I was built, and now, I firmly believe that it was for a reason. We all are who we are, and to go against that is what’s really weak. My strength comes in always knowing who I am, regardless of what it looks like to others. If you’re living your life to please or impress other people, you’re really not living at all. I could sit around and worry all day about what other people think about me, but if I know who I am, what’s the point? I’m comfortable with my character, so much so that I don’t need to convince you to be.
Yes, world, I am sensitive — so what?
After years of battling with it, I’ve realized that being sensitive is the biggest blessing in disguise. I put my all into everything and feel connected to everyone. While sadness strikes me hard, happiness hits me even harder. During the times where I feel low, I’m able to remember what it’s like to feel high, and for that, I am forever thankful. I know joy and I know agony, and I know the importance of experiencing each of those extreme emotions, and how lucky I am that I get to. I have a huge heart, and it doesn’t make me weak — it makes me real, it makes me human, it makes me alive.
Compassion isn’t a con.
I know how to move past it.
To me, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with feeling your feelings, you just can’t live there… and I don’t. I find strength in the fact that while I do feel things very deeply, I don’t allow them to overcome me. Yes, my emotions definitely effect me, but no, they will never consume me. Just because something hits me hard, doesn’t mean I can’t handle it, the thing is, I do. I don’t succumb to my sensitivity. It doesn’t paralyze me, it pushes me.
I’m not scared of it.
A lot of people don’t allow themselves to be vulnerable in fear that they are setting themselves up to get hurt; I have no choice. Being sensitive forces me to face sh*t head on — there’s no hiding from it.
Bottom line: I rather feel everything than nothing at all. I have emotions, I’m not empty, and I’m not afraid to embrace them. Now tell me — what’s so weak about that?
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