Over two years ago, my ex and I broke up, and it wasn’t an easy goodbye — it was excruciating. At the time, I swore I’d never get over it, but, like they say, time heals all wounds. Still, there’s one thing I can’t let go of — the pictures.
Recently, I was hanging out with a guy who commented on how long my hair was. Having just chopped some serious inches off a few months back, I whipped out my phone to show him that my hair now was nothing compared to what it used to be. I opened Instagram and pulled up my best shot of my long locks, and handed my phone over to show him, not thinking anything of it.
He looked at the picture and then began creeping my Instagram, right in front of me, which was definitely kind of weird. But, things only got weirder when he said “okay time to stop,” and I realized what had happened — he had scrolled back far enough to where there were all pictures of me with my ex.
After an awkward silence, he told me that if you scroll back on his Instagram, he still has pictures with his ex on there too. We got to talking about how people ask us “why are those still on there?” I said that deleting them takes more effort and I don’t even care enough to do that. He agreed. I lied, and you know what, I bet he did too.
The truth is that there’s a reason why all of those pictures with my ex remain on my Instagram, and it’s not because I’m too lazy to delete them; it’s because I still want them there.
After a breakup, I do believe in cutting ties; going your separate ways and moving on with your life, but I don’t believe in banishing memories from your mind and pretending that they never happened.
Even though that person is no longer a part of my life, for a long time, they were, and it’s not a chapter I’m just about to cut out, especially when it makes up so much of my story.
Just because so many things went wrong in our relationship, doesn’t mean that so many didn’t go right. And just because now I’m over that person, doesn’t mean that I don’t want to remember them.
For me, it was my first love, and the only one I’ve ever known; so screw the fact that I didn’t get my fairytale ending, it’s still always going to hold importance to me.
Looking back on those pictures of my ex and I on Instagram brings back a lot of emotions. It reminds me what it was like to feel so in love, which is a feeling I wouldn’t trade for the world. It’s eased the bitterness of our breakup, helped me move on, and taught me that sometimes you’re better off without the things you once thought you needed most.
Most importantly, it allows me to look back and realize how much my life has changed. It reminds me that even though I’m so far from where I thought I would have been, I couldn’t be happier with where I’m at now.
