Guide to Getting Them Back

    We’ve all been there. We’ve all been dumped by the person that we loved- and if you say you haven’t, well… go scratch! You lie.

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    For the rest of mankind, the human population’s normal reaction would be complete and utter devastation. Then comes a variety of stages that traditionally a person takes in order to piece their lives back together…

    The healthy post-breakup process, which sounds so good in our head- in theory, usually plays out something along the lines of denial, anger, depression, bargaining, acceptance, a hair-color change, and moving the “F” on. However, in reality, the steps typically include: Go out, get super drunk, and hook up with someone new to get your mind off of your ex…. right? Yeah, only if you want your life to go further down the sh*tter.

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    Ugh, we are the worst, aren’t we?

    Any self-aware individual can admit to themselves when all is said and done, and everything is spelled out in black and white, this type of behavior is an obvious cry for help and a recipe for disaster. The pain actually becomes amplified rather than diminished. Against our better judgment, this is exactly what most people do to attempt recovery- just like in every romantic comedy ever made. People don’t even realize they are programmed to be a gluten for punishment, thinking that in some paramount plot twist, in the end, they will get their happily ever after.

    After every ending, starts a new beginning… cliche? Sure. It’s kind of true, kind of not. However, cinematic media teaches us this is the appropriate response and attitude towards our relationship and entire world crumbling in front of us.

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    Traumatic split? Not to worry. A sexual renaissance is on the horizon followed by a public declaration of forgiveness, and true love’s kiss (most likely in the rain…). But, despite feeble and vain efforts, you can’t just hump a breakup out of your system, can you? No, no, of course not! Are you crazy? This is the ultimate plan guaranteed to backfire. When you decide to party hard, binge drink and go on a sexual rampage with innocent strangers, it will in no way compare to the euphoria you once felt being held in the arms of your former flame. Love, much like fame, can be fleeting. A momentary connection with someone, or a random encounter, is not going to solve your problems.

    So you are left with two options: Put on your big girl panties and be by yourself for awhile, or select what is secretly behind door number two- reverse the breakup and win them back!

    Now this can be extremely tricky and should not be pursued by amateurs. First and foremost, you must think about this one, long and hard… Is your ex really a good person? Is this the person for you? Are you sure? Think about it. You only have a 50/50 shot. If this fails, your only other alternative is grief and movingon.com. However, if your latest significant other is undeniably special and worth the risk of more heartache, well, here are the rules to follow.

    Do you trust me? Let’s go!

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    The first rule to abide by is engage in more positive activities, in a positive environment…during positive, normal, appropriate hours. When it comes to life’s vices, alcohol, drugs, etc., they should not be done when you are in your worst state of mind. When you are weak, it magnifies the effects, and a downward spiral is inevitable in a multitude of areas. When you are out and about till the wee hours of the night, you are more likely to be exposed to negative people at their worst. Not only is it depressing to be among the sleaze, but your perception of how people really are becomes skewed. All of a sudden, you hold your ex on an even higher pedestal than before by comparison. No bueno.

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    The last thing your vulnerable a** needs is to be pulled into darkness. You are never going to evolve into your best self to regain their attention if you turn into someone you aren’t with a new, gloomy outlook.

    Gravitate towards meaningful things focus on all of the amazing possibilities that lie ahead. Sure partying can bring some merriment in the beginning, but as soon as you wake up in the morning the reality of life hits.

    Missing somebody is hard. No one is saying it isn’t. No doubt. However, now is the time to think ‘wholesomely.’ Lean towards the things that make you feel better about yourself and the world. Reinforce the perception that people can be great. Spending time with others who already love you will restore faith, happiness, and motivation. Why convince someone when so many others already know?

    Have you caught on to where I am going with this yet?

    This isn’t, nor should it ever be about getting them back. It is about perception. You cannot be spending every single day anxiously waiting for someone to come to their senses. It’s not healthy. You also cannot go out and expect to be meeting a new love interest immediately, either. That’s only in the movies.

    The lesson which you will only learn is that anything can happen. In fact, anything happens all of the time. The world is a place full of optimism and possibilities- where good people are available if you choose to allow them into your life. Get them back? Get you back! The rest will follow…

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