Most of the time we think of a ‘wing girl’ as the go-to gal proving to be the ultimate ice breaker when it comes to socializing with the opposite sex. More often than not women need that buffer to help them build a little more comfort and confidence when it comes to meeting men at parties or while out and about. But what about the fellas? Their ‘wing men’ usually can only get them so far…
Enter MARNI KINRYS, best celebrated as the authoritative “Wing Girl” and expert relationship coach. MARNI KINRYS is single-handedly transforming the dating game by assisting the men on this one. She is providing them with the right tools and skill set to attract, court and get any girl their heart desires through her unique curriculum, THE WING GIRL METHOD.
I know what you are thinking? Another one-of-a-kind, “self-help program” right? Wrong.
Her strategy for #dudebros is a bit more distinct. It offers a behind the curtain perspective into a modern-day heroine’s mind. Marni aids these guys into building strong, masculine character traits which most women crave. Her select technique has been carefully designed to finally bridge the gap in communication between Mars and Venus.
Her witty podcast “Ask Women” and best-selling book, THAT’S NOT HOW MEN WORK, has not only up-ed her street cred from a professional standpoint, but it has catapulted her into one of the most sought after gurus by her peers, beyond the media and establishing mass appeal. Marni’s drive stems from her entrepreneurial spirit, and leading other individuals with new-age empowering advice. Come get some!
NEW THEORY: How effective has your method been with men trying to find people that they actually like for a long-term commitment?
MARNI KINRYS: My method has been extremely helpful in showing men who to go after. It becomes very clear what they want. Most of what I teach men is about transparent communication and not hiding their TRUE intentions. What happens with a lot of guys is that they think by putting what they want out there to women, it comes across as rude, disrespectful or aggressive. So instead they hide their intentions, act super polite and self-edit everything that could possibly be interesting to women they want to attract. I help them to remove this filter and show them that they can ask for what they want and still be awesome men of integrity.
NT: What led you to take on such a path and come up with such a method?
MK: I wish I could say this has been a strong passion of mine since I was a child, BUT believe it or not, I stumbled into this line of work after making a joke at a ‘singles mixer’. I had successfully introduced and facilitated conversations for a lot of men at the event and one of them called me his ‘wing girl’. I went home thinking, “I could do this for more men. I can help them talk to women and create attraction.” So after I posted an ad on Craigslist at 1:00 am, by the next morning I had over 75 responses from guys who were interested in my services. That’s literally how it started. It’s certainly evolved into something much bigger. Now I help men all over the world! My passion for helping people to understand others and take control of their lives, is and will always be my driving force. I just want people to get what they want without resorting to being jerks and wimps.
NT: How have your personal struggles changed your day to day process or impact your motivation for turning boys into men?
MK: My day to day life definitely dictates the advice that I provide to my listeners, subscribers and members. As I go through things, I relay that information to them. I used to be one of the guys. I like men, BUT I used to be shy, with low-confidence, and was a nervous wreck who believed I couldn’t just go after what I wanted. I did and have been continuously doing work on myself throughout the growth of my business. Now I carry a tool belt of mechanisms that I can pull from. I pass those tools onto each one of my clients. I’m not standing from a hill preaching to others that they can do something without having done it myself. I really try to walk the walk.
NT: What inspired you to write your book?
MK: Pressure. Ha. I had been trying to write my book for YEARS, but was so down on my own skills to actually write the book. I tried to hire ghostwriters who just didn’t get it, or me, or my advice. They would produce something that would always be void of ME. Then a friend of mine pushed me to just do it myself. Her pressure, plus the pressure from myself that I couldn’t write was definitely the motivator. I needed to get over the hump. Once I started writing, it only took me about a week to complete.
NT: Has teaching this method had an effect in the way you are with your own husband?
MK: OMG, yes! I have learned so much about men in general through my decade plus of working with amazing individuals. Things that as a woman, I would never have been privy to. I have a much better understanding of men and how they work. I use that in my own life when communicating with my husband. Trust me, I’m still a woman, so I slip sometimes, BUT I can always get back to a good place.
NT: Is there one specific trick which all men should follow or is it different for every person?
MK: EVERY person should work on eliminating the fluff from their conversation. Just say what they want or mean. I have this matrix chart called The Confidence and Specificity Matrix: the more confident and specific you can be in your communication with ANYONE, the better chance you’ll have of getting what you want, or at the very least getting into a real conversation that could lead to compromise.
NT: Have you ever thought about creating a method for women to find men?
MK: I have one. It’s called, That’s Not How Men Work. It’s based on all of the work I’ve done with men over the years and all the things I learned ABOUT men that I didn’t know as a woman. Insider information. I called it this because over the years I started to notice my advice to my female friends shifting. I wasn’t just comforting them and bashing men to make them feel better. I was constantly saying, “But that’s not how men work,” when they would complain about something. This would peak their interest and they would inquire, “then how do they work…” and I’d tell them. That gave them a sense of relief that it wasn’t THEM.
NT: What do you think of the way people interact today in the dating world? With social media, online dating, apps, etc.?
MK: I think like everything else, there are pros and cons to it. The pros are that there are SOOOOO many more options. The cons are that there are SOOOO many more options. Like anything, if you use it wisely and with clear intention, it can be very successful for you.
NT: Do you think it will get easier to meet a potential partner, or is it more difficult than ever?
MK: As I said above, if used the right way online tools can be awesome. BUT, I do still think it must be combined with real life interaction options so that you don’t become a total drone.
NT: How did you and your husband meet?
MK: I actually dated a couple of his friends. Then one of the friends invited me to a weekend hang out and he told me to bring cute friends. It didn’t work out with that guy and I knew he had cute friends SO I of course went. I met my husband on the beach that day. I wasn’t attracted to him at first, but we had a nice conversation. I kept seeing him out and every time I saw him he got more comfortable with me. He would tease me and challenged me, and I liked it. By the 3rd time I saw him, I asked him for his number. The rest is history! 🙂
NT: What are distinguishing qualities a man should have that a boy does not?
MK: Strength, sense of self and emotional control.
NT: Tell us about your “Chick-Tionary”… Can you give us an example of a term we should all know?
MK: The word NOTHING. To men it actually means nothing…. as it should. To women it means “SOMETHING” and you better figure out what it is in under 30 seconds or you are F’d”.
NT: The “Friend Zone” is a common problem in today’s world. What is the biggest tip you can provide to stay out of it?
MK: Stop being so friendly. I have a great article I wrote on this topic. See here: http://www.winggirlmethod.com/how-to-go-from-friend-to-lover-in-3-easy-steps/
NT: Now that women are typically in a less submissive role than in the past, what is it exactly that women are looking for in a man, especially if they are in a position to financially support themselves?
MK: The same things that they have always looked for in a man. Support, love and UNDERSTANDING. But that’s once they are attracted and connected to a guy.
They are looking for confidence, passion, fun and excitement.
Topics Marni Discusses:
- “The Chick-Tionary”
- “Friend Zone: Get Out and Stay Out”
- Building Your Masculine Confidence
- Activating A Social Life Women Die To Be Part OF
- Approaching & Talking To Women
- How to Be Seen by Women As A Lover Not a Friend
- How to get your girl to watch sports
- How to get more responses from online dating
- Steps to approaching groups of girls
- How to be more than “just friends”
- And much more!