So often it can feel like our negative thoughts have power over us. It’s as if a negative thought takes hold in our mind, and literally holds us hostage, and trying to escape its grip seems impossible. But the truth is, we’re the ones thinking up the thought, and keeping ourselves a hostage to it, and ultimately, we’re the only one that can release ourselves from its grasp.
In my book, Says Who? How One Simple Question Can Change The Way You Think Forever, I compare our negative thoughts to “imposters” trespassing onto our property. I say, “You wouldn’t welcome someone who doesn’t belong there, and ask them to stay,” so why would you do that with your negative thoughts? Why let them occupy your mind when they don’t belong there?
By asking yourself the 7 Says Who? questions, you can release yourself from the hostage-like feeling your negative thoughts can create. You always have a choice to keep a negative thought, or let it go. By doing so with consistency, you become your own “thought boss.”
Here are the 7 Says Who? questions:
Whenever a negative though pops into your head, ask it: Says Who? The question exposes a negative thought for exactly what it is: a doubt that can disrupt your life and damage your sense of well-being.
Have I heard someone say this thought before?
So many of the voices in our head are actually echoes. They’re old words we heard someone else say to us, such as a parent, spouse, or boss. By identifying the originator of the thought, you can find out if it really belongs to you. Many times, it doesn’t.
Do I like this thought?
Is this thought desirable or appealing? If not, then ask yourself: why are you thinking it? If you don’t like what you’re hearing, you don’t have to listen.
Does this thought make me feel better?
Negative thoughts tear us down instead of build us up. They seep into our psyches, wreaking havoc. Is this thought making you feel better or worse about yourself? If it doesn’t enhance your self-esteem in any way, why are you thinking it?
Does this thought work for me?
Is this thought useful or productive for you? With this question, you can take a look at whether or not a thought supports your desires or goals. If not, why are you thinking it?
Am I in control of this thought?
Does this thought have any kind of hold or power over you? Or, are you in control of it? If not, ask yourself why you would let a thought have power to control you. Remember, you are the commander of your own thoughts, not the other way around.
Do I want to keep this thought or let it go?
With this question, you’re finding out if you want to hold on to a thought that serves no useful purpose for your well-being. If it’s not doing you any good, it’s probably doing you bad. So let it go.
Whenever a negative thought takes hold in your mind, you can immediately question and challenge it with the Says Who? Method, and will notice that you not only aren’t being taken over by it, but that you have complete power over it.
As I write in Says Who? “You are the creator and master of your internal dialogue, which creates your reality.” It’s time to show your mind who’s boss!
Ora Nadrich is a Certified Life Coach, Certified Mindfulness Meditation teacher, and author of Says Who? How One Simple Question Can Change The Way You Think Forever. New York Times best-selling author, Marianne Williamson, says, “Ora Nadrich is a treasure. Her voice bears the passion of her own experience; she’s able to reach deep into our hearts because she’s culled so much wisdom from her own. When she speaks, I listen; when she writes, I read it; when she gives advice, I heed it. Her sparkle and power are not to be missed.”
Ora is a frequent blogger for the Huffington Post, and has been featured as a panelist on Huffington Post Live. She’s written many articles on Mindfulness, and can be found in Women’s Health Magazine, Yahoo Health, Conscious Lifestyle Magazine, Conscious2, MindBodyGreen, Elevated Existence Magazine, and LA Yoga Magazine. Learn more at www.oranadrich.com.
Author Credit: Ora Nadrich